I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
