We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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