my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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