I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
