my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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