Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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