fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Randomize
