on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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