i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Randomize
