How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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