Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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