last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
