sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
