Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
