so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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