I'm going to jail i love you
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
