Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
