come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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