Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
