I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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