His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
