i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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