You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
