I hate your face
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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