so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Boobs speak an international language.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Randomize
