you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
