Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I think I sprained my soul last night
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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