I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize
