I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
