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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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