y did u give ur computer a hand job?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
