i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
