maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
