Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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