operation have a gay friend backfired
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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