She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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