yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Randomize
