i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
