i think my tv is drunk
I am spending my child support on dildos
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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