the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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