You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
