Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
