I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
