so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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