After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
