what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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