Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
