and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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