Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
No stitches, just platelets and will power
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
