Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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