ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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