i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
We were destined to go to rehab together
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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